The European Commission have just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than
French, which was the other possibility.

> As part of
the negotiations, and strongly lobbied for by the
German government and the new member Austria, Her Majestys
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as
"EuroEnglish":

> -In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"..
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

> In the 3rd year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraceful, and they
should go away.

> By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" svith "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud
of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

> ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!